I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
