eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
