I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you had me at cake vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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