lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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