is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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