I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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