I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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