I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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