If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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