Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
