Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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