On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
