I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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