btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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