She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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