Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
