the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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