I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
