don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
