Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
