btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
