Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize