if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
