hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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