Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize