PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dignity is for republicans.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
