i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this will be a night to untag.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
