I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
