My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
birth control should be required to get into college
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
