i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?