when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
