I just made out with a guy for $7.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.