we have officially mastered the walk of shame
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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