ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
