you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle