Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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