u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Actions speak louder than pants.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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