She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
