Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
