I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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