i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
