i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
