Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
