Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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