You're completely useless in the revolution.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
