dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
