So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
