I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
