I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
