Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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