Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
