if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
