I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
