im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
