two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
