I cut my penus on the lid.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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