My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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