lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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