so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
