glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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