i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can tuck mytits in my pants
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
