it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
