He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
