I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
