I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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