I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I didn't notice because vodka
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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