I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
