we have officially lost it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
